The truth is, the advice given by your friends is kinda right. To get your ex boyfriend back don’t chase him or hound him or harass him – as hard as it may seem you need to back off and give him space.  Let him think you are OK and coping!

You do not have to give him up, but if you run after him crying and begging, you will lose him for good. This sort of behaviour is not very attractive in a man’s eyes and could end up pushing him away further. He will see you as being needy and desperate and no man wants a woman that cannot control her emotions.

When you let your emotions take over you can end up doing things you regret. You will do things that you would not normally think of doing if you were thinking with a clear head. Giving in to your instincts will make you appear desperate, when you start calling him at all hours and telling him you cannot live without him – you risk blowing it completely. Doing this can ruin any chance that you have of getting him back.

What you need to be doing to get your ex back is to stay away from him. Do not have any contact with him at all for several weeks. This will keep you from telling him you love him and cannot live without him, and it will give him a chance to settle down and see how important you are to him. The longer you can make him think you have taken the breakup in your stride – that life is carrying on without him, the better chance you will have of gettinig him back.

If you can do this then you are showing him how strong and mature you are, and he will begin to have second thoughts about breaking up with you.

The reason this tactic works so well is that when he broke up with you, he felt you were still madly in love with him and that you would be begging him to love you again. When you do not tell him you love him or even contact him, it will cause him to think you do not want him any more and he will fear that he has lost you completely and hopefully he will start to call you and realise he has made a mistake.

On the other hand you also have to be prepared for the fact that he really, truly may not want to get back with you and this is something you may have to deal with!

If the reason that you are in the situation where divorce or separation is looming is because you have been unfaithful there are things that you should and shouldn’t do to help. If there is something that you did that has caused this situation, then actions  speak louder than words. Of course you can tell them that you can and will change and you can try to talk them into believing you mean it.  Talk is cheap – YOU need to make the change and let your partner see you mean it. If you seriously want to know how to stop a divorce or break-up then you can start with accepting responsibility.

If it is a matter of  betrayal, then you need to work hard to make sure you never do anything that will give your spouse any reason to question your faithfulness again. If you want them to re-gain faith in you then you have to prove that you are worthy of their trust again.

It will take time and there is no hard or fast rule as to how long it will take and hopefully, in time you will gain their love and  respect again. Let’s be honest if you have broken trust, the truth is you don’t deserve to be trusted but, with a lot of hard work and patience perhaps in time trust can be re-gained.

It is the efforts to be faithful that will help towards proving that you are changing. Don’t deny that you have betrayed their trust and don’t try to justify it. Don’t get mad because they don’t trust you and don’t argue about it. If you messed up, own up, take responsibility and accept the consequences.

You may be in the situation where it is your partner who has been guilty of breaking your trust and has been guilty of infidelity. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you would want them to give you another chance. If you feel that you would deserve one then it very well may be that they deserve one as well. Put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Try to understand why this happened.

There is always the hope that things can be resolved and that you can save your relationship but you also have to be prepared that there is also a very good chance that it might not be and that no matter how hard you try you cannot turn things around.  It could be that the hurt you or your partner is feeling could be too great and the relationship just cannot be fixed.

If you feel your relationship is important at all and worth saving then it is well worth trying to find professional help before deciding that breaking up or divorce is the only option. Try to find the best relationship advice you can.  Maybe both of you could arrange to meet with a marriage counsellor to try and talk through the issues.

It is quite common for depression to rear its ugly head during all this stress and heartbreak  – this is normal and is caused by all the intentions negative emotions the two of you will be feeling during this time. It isn’t easy to deal with and you may need some kind of therapy to help you cope and understand what is happening.

Relationships can be wonderful and bring feelings of love and contentment but they can also bring a great deal of stress when one of you brings infidelity and betrayal into your relationship.

If you want to know how to stop a divorce, seek as much help as possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

So should you try to get back together?

Obviously there are no black and white answers to this question and only you and your ex can decide!   There are lots of things that you should take into consideration but above all else what will make getting back together right or wrong is do you both want to make it work?

Sometimes relationships run their course. Both parties involved should sometimes take a step back, look at the relationship in depth, look at what was good about it and what was wrong with it.  Why have you parted?  Is it something that you can both work together to change?  It could just be that it was fun while it lasted but you are both too different for it to last long term.

On the other hand sometimes relationships come to an end due to the affect of outside influences and the two people involved really are truly meant to be together. If you feel this is you and your partner then it is surely worth a try. One very important fact though is, that you both need to feel the same way – it will never work if only one of you wants to try again.  This HAS to be a joint decision.

As with end of any relationship you will be feeling emotional and all over the place – especially if the relationship ending was not something you wanted. Maybe this is not the best time to make any major decisions. Although you may not feel that time apart and some space between you is not what you ultimately want it can be a good thing. Obviously if you miss each other this is a good sign.

If you are feeling really down about your OH and your relationship it can be hard to be objective about whether it is time to walk away from your partner and your relationship. Is your relationship really over or are you just going through a really rough time at the moment?  It might actually be that your relationship is not truly over, although it might feel like it is.

There are so many things that contribute to you feeling as though things are at the point of no return and what you need to do is recognise what is ‘fixable’ and what isn’t!

Perhaps you have just had a child – this can one of the toughest things your relationship can go through and the dynamics of your relationship can change completely.  You are exhausted and you feel as though your partner is not ‘doing his bit’ to help you.  Your hormones are all over the place and rational thinking is something from the past.  You’re not happy with your body and no doubt your self esteem is low and the last thing you feel like doing is making love!

If things are really getting you down and you feel out of control then you MUST go and see your doctor it could be that you are suffering from post natal depression and you need some help – once you have crossed that hurdle and you feel more in control your relationship will start to get back onto the right track.

He feels a bit pushed out as your time is now taken up caring for the baby and he feels you have no time for him.  He perhaps feels that your priorities have changed and that he way down on the list (and lets be honest ladies he is!).  He has never had a baby so he can’t relate to how you feel about your body and how you may feel unsexy, due to the leaking boobs, sicky clothes and the permanant state of exhaustion you are in.

You can take comfort from the fact that practically EVERY relationship that has a child enter into it goes through the same thing and most relationships do change and grow and adapt to these changes eventually.

Ok, so there is no child – it could be that you’re both exhausted due to the demands of work and your stresses are creeping into your relationship.  Again this can be sorted and needs to be addressed especially if you are both at the stage of barely speaking to each other.  It would be such as shame to throw away an otherwise good relationship just because stress is affecting you both.

Make some time for you both to be together, perhaps a weekend away from ‘normal, everyday’ life.  Get to know each other again and no doubt you will discover you actually still like each other and want to make it work.

If you really feel that you need to ‘get out’ then perhaps taking a break from each other will do the trick.  Sometimes it is all too easy to lose your feelings and emotions amongst all the day-to-day grind and crap that life can throw at you.  You will know fairly soon after spending some time apart if this is something you want to make permanent.

If you miss him, and start to look forward to seeing each other then there is something definitely worth saving.  You will discover that you start to have fun together and be able to laugh again.  Bring some romance back by going on dates again!  Get to know each other, set in place a ‘no sex’ rule to start with and enjoy the thrill of the chase all over again.

If once he has gone you feel relief, and life without him is great and you find you are not missing him in any way then perhaps it is time to call it a day and move on.  If you look at him and you can imagine life without him and feel it is the better option then maybe it is …..for you both!

I don’t suppose anyone can truly decide that apart from you.  After all we all have different needs and expectations from our relationships.

All couples go through rough patches and you need to determine whether you feel your relationship can weather the storm.  Sometimes it can all feel very desperate and that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  I think every couple has been there at one time or another.  If you look at that person and still know that you love them and that you can’t imagine life without them then that means there is hope.  There is still a reason to fight to survive.

You need to sit down as a couple and ‘talk’ calmly and constructively.  Talk about what you can do to make changes – they may only be small changes but it is a step in the right direction and hopefully they can make a BIG difference.

Now, there are reasons to leave that can be more serious.  Violence and abuse are something that should no person (woman or man) should have to tolerate. If your partner is abusive you need to leave.  Being in a relationship with someone is suppose to make you happy and if that person makes you feel bad about yourself you need to go or he does.

Someone who truly loves you will not bully you, hit you or humilate you.  This is not a healthy relationship and the longer you stay it will get worse.  As long as you allow yourself to be in this situation the more you will be hurt by it.  It can be hard to move on as normally if you are in a relationship like this your self-esteem will be low and you will feel you are not capable but you are!  And if you have children then you need to be strong for them and make the change for you all!

If the answer is ‘no’ then perhaps it is time for a change?  If you are in a relationship where he makes you feel unhappy then why would you stay?  I know that it is hard, especially if there are children involved but having experienced it myself I can truly say that it is better for your kids to live with one happy parent and see the other regularly than live in an atomosphere where there is stress and constant arguing.

Is your self-esteem low and your confidence at an all time low?  This is probably a result of your relationship and trust me they will all improve greatly once you are out there living again.  Once you realise that you can cope on your own there will be no stopping you.  Of course it doesn’t all happen over night – it will take time but it will happen.

Of course it could just be that you are just not happy because you have fallen out of love and for no other reason than that!  If you don’t love him then it is definitely time to end it as it is not fair on either of you.  You both deserve the chance of happiness and he deserves the chance of being with someone who truly loves him – in fact you both do!

If you are not happy then you need to look at your relationship and decide if it is worth saving.  If it’s not then move on and make the change!

Do you send him a text, tell him on the phone or are you brave enough to meet up and tell him face to face?  You could be surprised, he may feel the same way too!

No two relationships are the same so what may be the best way for you may not be such a good idea for someone else.

You may find it helpful to take some quiet time for yourself to sit and write down a list of ways to break the news gently.  Ways that if you really think about it, may be how you would expect to be told.

At the end of the day, if you feel restless, bored or fed up with the relationship, it will show and it is very likely he will already be aware that something is wrong.  It is just about finding the best way to  end your relationship, a way that you will feel comfortable with afterwards.

What do you think?