The first thing you could try is marriage counseling – sometimes it can help to have someone neutral (a mediator) to talk to as they can be impartial and keep you focused when it comes to talking as it can become all too easy to fall into the trap of apportioning blame on each other and getting into a tit-for-tat argument.

One thing that some people find hard to deal with is that the perfect marriage is a myth.  Sometimes the most passionate marriages can seem like hell to the outsider as the couple argue constantly but ultimately they are happy and their sex life will be just as passionate.  Try to avoid comparing your marriage to friends and family as no marriages are the same.

Many people claim the first year or two or marriage can be the hardest as whenever two people are brought together and suddenly living together on a daily basis, there is bound to be problems. This is completely normal. Even close friends are different in their likes and dislikes and even though you love your friend and have known them for 25 years it doesn’t mean you could live together in total harmony. For any marriage to succeed you must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. If you are seeking perfection then you will never be happy. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you’ll realize it is possible to save my marriage – perhaps you will realise that the thing you thought was huge is not that bad after all and not worth throwing your marriage away for!

Good communication is vital in any relationship.  If you can’t talk to each other then your marriage will no doubt run into problems. It is important to be honest with your partner – most problems can be overcome if communication is strong in your marriage.

It is also important that you both learn to accept compromise. Part of a healthy marriage is compromise.  There will be things your partner thinks is acceptable in a relationship that you might not totally agree with – but if it is not going to be harmful to you, your partner or your relationship then why not compromise and let him go to the football and the pub with his friends.  There is no doubt things about you that your partner does not agree with or like but he lets it go because he loves you.

Marriage is also about commitment. If you have a car and it breaks down, you don’t abandon the car on the side of the road – you take it home and have it repaired either by yourselves or by a professional. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage requires the same level of commitment.

Of course there are times when things are so bad that nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved – for example, some couples can not get over an affair and no amount of counseling  will help. Sometimes problems are too great and will lead to divorce. If you feel there is even the slimmest chance you can save your marriage then it is surely worth trying?

Talk about your problems

Many people think that their spouse will automatically know what they need from their marriage. This kind of assumption can be wrong. If you truly want to understand each others needs, both of you need to talk about it. When communication is poor, there can be misunderstanding and conflict. If you learn how to improve your communication your marriage will soon improve.

Make your marriage interesting again

You find sex boring and you find almost everything boring in a marriage. It is common place to start to slack in doing things for their partner. Common things that people clack on are things such as not dressing up for their partner, not remembering the important dates like birthdays, wedding anniversaries or even many start to stop saying “I Love You” to their spouse. The only way to make your marriage interesting again is to revive the romance and doing the ‘little’ things that matter.

Positive attitude

You probably have lost the confidence in your marriage and that is why you think that you need to save your boring marriage. When there are doubts and resentment in a marriage, you will think very badly about many things in life. Hence, if you want to win back your spouse’s heart, you need to regain back the positive attitude. It is not only about your marriage, but everything that you are going to do. When you are positive, you will do things confidently.

You and your spouse probably genuinely love each other and sometimes there are ups and downs in a marriage. If for any reason, you feel that your marriage is dead and problematic, it is time to rekindle the love back you had when you just got married.

In some instances one partner will decide that keeping the family intact isn’t worth the trouble and they’ll move out and seek a divorce. In other cases the couple wants to try and rebuild the relationship but they have absolutely no idea where to start. If you’re faced with this now and you want to rekindle the love and commitment that was once present in your marriage, there’s help.

There are simple steps that you can take, beginning today, that will reconnect you and your partner emotionally. Learning how to stop your marriage from falling apart is the key to a happy, fulfilling future with the person you love.

Communication is obviously vitally important to any successful marriage but, many couples don’t truly see the value in listening to their partner. It’s so easy to go on the defense when your partner comes to you because they are troubled about the relationship, or in particular, something you are doing.

If you want your marriage to succeed you have to be willing to hear the negatives as well as the positives from your spouse. Make a commitment to one another to truly listen to each other. Let your partner talk, without interruption when they are expressing what they feel about the relationship. Absorb what they say and learn from it. Don’t try and defend your position. Instead compromise and grow from everything they tell you. If you can do this, they’ll follow suit and do the same for you.

Dating doesn’t have to stop once you two make that trip down the aisle and become husband and wife. Couples who are happy in their relationships tend to make time to continue to date each other. Depending on your budget, you don’t have to devote a great deal of money to this.

Something as simple and pleasurable as arranging overnight care for the kids with a close friend or relative and then having dinner together at home, followed by a movie or a shared bath, can be more than enough. The focus shouldn’t be on the experience, but more on the company.

Enjoy this type of uninterrupted time with your spouse. It can help you both to get to know one another again and it will remind each of you why you fell in love with the other.

You need to sit down and think about what your fears are.  They may be normal worries and turn out to be nothing but pre-wedding jitters.  Which, if you ask most people they will probably have experienced them at some point.

If your fears run deeper than this then you need to really think carefully about whether you are actually doing the right thing.

Many people make the mistake of thinking that getting married will be the end to all their problems.  The truth if the matter is the problems will still be there unless they are dealt with.

If your partner cheated on you and you are having a hard time then it is time to talk and deal with it.  You will still have a hard time dealing with it when you are married.

Do you truly believe that your other half will stop being violent once you are married?  Statistics show it actually gets worse once you are married – but, then, why would you want to marry someone who beats you and has such little respect for you?  This shows that you, yourself have issues and need help.

If he has told you that he doesn’t want children and you do is it wise to marry him then this could eventually lead to the break down of your relationship.  Many girls make the assumption that they can change his mind after they marry.  This is not always the case.  I know of girls who have had ‘accidents’ and got pregnant – they are now divorced!

If you have worries or fears don’t sweep them under the carpert.  Address them and deal with them if you don’t you may regret it in the future.

Some would judge and say, well, if you feel you need a ‘get out clause’ then you should not be together in the first instance let alone be having children together.  Maybe they are right.

In some cases this could be correct as the feelings are not as strong as they should be and perhaps one partner is holding out for someone ‘better.  In this instance my thoughts are ‘get out now’, no children, no mortgage, don’t waste your time…..JUST GO!

For some people it is a lot deeper than that.  It may be that they come from broken home themselves and don’t believe in marriage.  Many people feel that a marriage certificate is not worth the paper it is written on and that by saying ‘I love you and want to be with you for the rest of my life’ nothing more is needed.  And for many this works.

The point is that it is personal and you have to decide which is for you.  More importantly, you need to be sure what ever you do is right and so is that person.  Marriage or no marriage when you part the children always suffer in some shape or form.

If you fail to communicate with your partner, it’s only a matter of time until your marriage is over.  The most common cause of  marriage breakdown is when couples fail to communicate or things are said that are miscommunicated between each other.

When problems arise, people stop talking to each other. Simply put, a marriage cannot be saved if the couple can’t figure things out together. When a new problem appears, a married couple needs to talk more, not less.

Marriage is not something you should enter into half- heartedly and definitely something you shouldn’t do if you have to ask the above question.

When he asks you to marry him – your answer should either be a positive ‘yes’ or a ‘no’!  If you say yes and afterwards start to wonder if you have done the right thing by accepting then maybe you need to re-think your relationship.

What is it that makes you doubt whether marrying him is the right thing or not?  You need to sit down and think about your doubts and fears and talk to your partner.  Tell him how you feel.  If you go ahead and get married with major feelings of doubt and misgivings then the chances are your marriage will not last in the long run. ‘

‘Will I?’ or ‘Won’t I?’ is NOT a good place to be and feeling pressured or cajoled into getting married is definitely not a recipe for a succesful, long lasting marriage.  You will only regret it in the end.

Be true to yourself and to your partner and be sure that marriage to him is the right thing for you.