• Strong eye contact (lingering eye contact shows you are unafraid and interested)
• Coy grin (raising eyebrows, squinting eyes, widening eyes, winking, tilting head)
• Posturing (arching of the back, protruding chest and sucking in tummy)
• A passionate voice (charismatic or perhaps very intimate in tone)
• Wetting the lips or tongue movement (considered a nervous gesture, perhaps to calm sexual tension)
• Grooming (preening the hair or clothing may show interest of self-consciousness; look for hair tosses, excessive touching of the hair or putting fingers through it)
• Playing with shoes (common with relaxed women; watch as they dangle shoes by the tip of their toes, touch the back of their feet, or thrust feet in and out)
• Playing with stuff (meaning anything from a wine glass to a necklace or other nearby objects. Look for caressing movements that can indicate the desire to touch you)

In today’s world of instant and total communication, it seems almost illogical to stop talking to someone you shared such a constant and close connection with.  Sure you broke up, but deleting your ex from your list of Facebook or MySpace friends seems a little harsh, doesn’t it?  And do you take him off your email lists when you send out funny jokes, videos, and other stuff?  Trying to stay friends after a relationship ends is a dilemma.

But think about it for a moment.  Just how close do you want to stay to your ex boyfriend?  Do you really want to know what he’s up to… who he’s seeing… and when he begins dating again?  Will you be able to handle it when your ex-boyfriend starts seeing other girls, or will it make you jealous?

Before asking the question can you stay friends with your ex, ask a different question first: do you still love him?  Do you want your ex back?  Because if so, friendship is actually the last thing you want… even if he suggested it.

If your boyfriend asked to stay friends after the breakup, cold it mean that he’s not happy with the idea of losing you completely?  Even if he’s the one who dumped you, your ex might rather see a gradual detachment where the two of you stay in touch.  This allows him the freedom to date other people and keep you at arm’s length, but at the same time know exactly where you are and what you’re doing.  It’s comforting for him to know he can perhaps get you back if he wants, so he suggests staying friends.  For you though this might not be the healthiest of things emotionally.

Do you really want your ex back?  If you do – then work toward that goal.  Don’t substitute friendship for the relationship you really want, hoping and praying that you can use that friendship to enable you to get close to him again.  The reality is that you won’t get close – in fact, you’ll drift further and further apart and it will take you longer to move on.    Your ex will eventually just see you as a friend that he once dated.

Believe me, you do NOT want to watch your ex -boyfriend date other girls if you still have feelings for him.  You don’t want to hear about his exploits, issues, problems, and new conquests.  You cannot sit back and pretend to be his good friend when he comes to you with every little thing that happens in his life.  When his life doesn’t involve you in it… it becomes a lot harder to hear about.

You cannot stay friends with your ex  – not if you want him back.  If you distance yourself from him then you may be able to create a situation in which your ex begins to miss and need you again but, you also have to face and accept that your ex may never want you back and is just asking to stay friends with you because he feels it will be easier on you and his only intention is to move further away from you slowly and gently.

Do what is right for you – not them!!

It can feel exciting physically and sexually. Couples who keep their relationship a secret generally have a good reason – some innocent and some not so innocent.

A secret relationship requires couples to be extremely secretive and avoid mentioning anything about the relationship in any casual conversations. It can be extremely stressful and tensions run high when both partners have to keep watching what they say and if they are often in the same company they have to make sure they avoid looking at each other as any more than just friends.

Added to stress and tension is the constant worrying of being seen together when they are out alone together. They have the constant worry of bumping into people they know and have to avoid showing simple shows of affection such as, walking down the road holding hands.

Sometimes there are good reasons to keep the relationship a secret – maybe you are good friends and it has blossomed into more than just being friends and you want still to be seen together around your mutual friends without people suspecting you are in a relationship.

There are instances where co-workers in the workplace who started dating keep their relationship a secret for reasons of job security because such dating might be discouraged in their workplace.

The question of having a secret relationship or not, is surely an individual choice and if it has been kept a secret for personal and harmless reasons then as friends we have to accept when it becomes public knowledge, the reasons our friends kept it hidden from us in the beginning.  It is important that we are supportive as friends – even if we feel that the reason it was kept a secret from us was more than, for example, they wanted to take time to get used to it themselves if they used to be just friends.

Some relationships are kept secret for other reasons – is one of them married or in a relationship already and it is an affair?  Has your friend kept it a secret from you because she or he knows that you will not approve of the choice of partner for some reason?

As a friend even if you do not approve when the relationship comes to light – you have to support your friend and accept their choice because at the end of the day it is their life and their choice who they date.  I am not saying that you are not allowed to tell your friend your concerns but you can do it nicely and be diplomatic.  Let them know how you feel but also, let them know you are there for them should the relationship fail.  It is important that your friend knows that he or she has you on their side if they need you.

If you and your partner are failing to communicate, then your relationship is really in danger of falling apart.  You need to get your partner to agree to sit down with you and have an honest conversation about what is going wrong in your relationship.

This should not turn into a personal attack on each other, but make sure you talk openly and honestly about the issues that you both have and let your partner know that you want to work with them to strengthen the relationship.

Work together to identify the root problems that you both feel could be damaging your relationship.  You can start by brainstorming and writing everything that comes to mind on a piece of paper.  Then pick out the ones that you both feel have the most impact.  This then will give you a starting point and hopefully you can get things back on track.

You have to have trust in the relationship if it is going to be successful.  No doubt you are hoping to spend a large part of your life with someone else and if you are going to be able to rely on each other, it is important to establish that you both hold similar values and below are some ways in which you can do this.

Make sure that your actions follow what you said you would do.  It may seem just to be a small point, but when you say you are coming home at a certain time and have to change you agenda at the last minute, phone home to say you will be late.

Opt for telling the truth all the time, as lies only destroy relationships.  Untruths only serve to destroy all trust in relationships.  It may not always be the easiest but it is certainly the safest option.  Your partner will find it easier to trust you when they know you are telling the truth.

Avoid having secrets that you keep from your partner, when you are in a serious relationship.  It is usually only a question of time as to when they will find you out and then your partners’ trust in you is likely to be seriously shaken.

Let your partner see that you trust them and in return you expect them to trust you.  If you are always following up on their every move maybe they will one day likely start asking you what you have been doing.

Be realistic about your relationship and expect to have some bad times as well as the good ones.  When you try to run to escape the first problem you encounter; your partner will not find it easy to trust you.

Before you can trust someone else you have to be confidant in yourself to decide the right course of action that you should take when faced with a problem to solve.

You know yourself and your limits.  You must know where you want to go in life before you can have a real relationship.  You will find it easier to find a partner who you will be able to trust, when you can see that their values line up with your own.

If you are looking for a long and happy relationship, you have to build up trust with your partner if you want to improve your chances of succeeding.

After all, he has always dumped his clothes on the bedroom floor so why did it not bother me so much when we first got together, or the fact that he seems to think the ‘dish-washer’ fairy empties and fills the dishwasher for us!  I don’t actually think he knows how to open the door to it, that must be it – after all, why would the dishes pile up in the sink through the day when the dish washer is empty?

So, why do these things annoy us so much?  Is it because as the relationship develops, kids come in to the equation, most of us work as well as looking after the house and kids that we start to think – ‘Hold on here!!  You’re an adult, the kids manage to put their clothes in the wash and make their beds so why can’t you?  I have enough to do without running after you too.’

Is it their fault or is it ours?  In the beginning I used to just pick up his clothes off the bedroom and bathroom floors without complaining so therefore the trend was set, I was saying, ‘This is acceptable, I don’t mind doing it’!

In my case I think it is the fact that my role seems to have changed considerably within the relationship, as the kids are growing and going off to places for activities it is still my responsibility to make sure they get there and get picked up and deal with them when they are sick, as well as working fulltime (how many fathers have you heard of taking the day off because of the kids are sick?)  Do you hear them worrying all day at work about who’s going to pick the kids up from football training?  (I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but it’s definitely not the norm!!)

So, if women can grow and adapt to the changes why can’t men?  Why do we have to point out that it’s not fair that we have to pick up after them as well as the kids or that it is their turn to help organise football pick-ups etc? If we work and contribute financially then surely it is only fair the whole thing is shared 50/50?

Perhaps one basic question that women strive to understand is this: How do I know if he’s a keeper? The truth is, understanding men is not nearly as complicated as many women believe it to be. The way to evaluate whether or not a man is a keeper is to look at a few very simple things about his behaviour and how he makes you feel.

For example, a man who does things that make you happy may be a keeper. He is the type of man who pays attention to you when you’re talking, who takes you out on dates to places or to do the things that both of you find interest in, and who actually listens to you in every way.

He is the type of man who calls you every day just to check in and to see how you are doing, who texts you back or calls you back right away, who is genuinely concerned about you, and who is interested in who you truly are as a person.

Keep in mind that you do not need to like all the same things in order for you to be perfect for each other. Although it helps to be with someone whom you are compatible with, finding someone with whom you are comfortable at being yourself and who understands your differences is the most important thing.

The key to understand men and dating is to know that while men are wired differently than women, what is always most important is to look at how they treat you and how they make you feel. A man who satisfies you not only physically, but also emotionally and mentally is, without a doubt, a keeper.

There’s a saying that a lot of young couples hear when they are first married, which is that you shouldn’t go to bed mad at each other. This is true. People who get married today have over a 50% chance of getting divorced. So, now the question becomes “why?” Why is it that we can’t seem to stay together? Has the view on marriage changed? Perhaps. It seems as if a lot of young people today get married for the wrong reasons. Many people marry for financial reasons, and the the financial strain develops into the cause of the couple breaking up.

The number one reason that people fail at relationships with one another is due to a lapse or lack of communication. It takes two people to communicate effectively to the other. If one person is constantly doing all of the work in trying to convey feelings or ideas to the other person, then it is only a matter of time before problems arise.

We are not mind readers. No one person is the same as the next, therefore we aren’t expected to get along all the time. However, good relationships require good communication which requires compromise from either party involved.

For example, if your husband is slovenly and leaves things out around the house, rather than reprimand him, let him know how you are feeling without nagging him to death. “Usually, you are so good about not leaving things out, babe – would you mind just picking that up and putting it away?” sounds ten times better than: “I’m sick and tired of having to clean up after you!”